A Normal Day
by a.shepard.m
Summary: Shepard just wants a normal day, but her breakfast is threatened when bananas are on the loose.


How does a usual day looks like?(Excluding missions) - Bleizunge

- for Bleizunge-

_Wake up... Come on, Shep! Wake up! __**It's time to go!**_

Shepard blinked a couple of times and groaned as she stretched her leg and back muscles. She felt something hit her head and immediately retaliated by lifting her sheets and grabbing her pillow. She quickly rolled out of bed and scanned her quarters. Seeing no one in sight, she stealthily trotted over to her desk and yelled "HA!" as she rounded the corner. Shepard realized that no one was there, and that she was completely alone.

"Well, that's... unexpected. Could've sworn that I heard someone, " she mumbled to herself and walked over to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

After a couple of songs being sung in the shower and fifteen minutes in the mirror assessing that yes, her butt is kind of big, she was dressed and ready to head out. The Normandy was on the way to the Citadel, and there was nothing to do. So she let her hair down and was ready to finish up some reports when she noticed that they're all gone. Shepard looked around and through her drawers, but it seemed like her reports hovered and flew right out the airlock. She touched her terminal, and stared at the message that was typed on her screen.

**THE NORMANDY IS OURS. THE WAR BEGINS NOW. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

"EDI? Report, what's going on?"

Silence answered her question as her pulse quickened and she called out to Joker.

"Joker, you there? What is going on?"

No reply came, and she fumbled around her secret compartment underneath her chair for her gun, and instead, retrieved a piece of torn paper.

"Well, it's not like my normal days are boring too," she said to herself and read the message out loud, "The objective lies in getting breakfast, as even the great Commander Shepard needs to challenged."

She reads the message one more and mutters, "'Even the great Commander Shepard needs to be challenged' my ass, no one messes with my food. No one." Pen grabs her weight bar that she uses for her bow staff training and storms to the elevator.

The elevator opens and she rolls out while three objects are thrown where her head should've been and hits the back wall. She looks back at the objects and does a double take.

_Are those... __**bananas?**_

Shepard stands quickly on her feet, sprints and tackles the huge form in front of her with a yell.

"What the hell Pen? I'm just not in the mood for this!" Garrus rubs the back of his head as Shepard is laying on top of him looking to see if anyone is surrounding them and ignores as he stares at her.

"Shepard? Shepard, what is going on? And who are you looking for?'

"Garrus, shhhh," she covers his mouth with her hand scans the room again, "I don't know what's going on, but I need to make breakfast and bananas came out of nowhere."

"I think someone was watching too many of those action movies that you have and didn't get enough sleep," he sits up when she rolls off of him and is starting to stand when she pushes him down again.

"Don't stand, we need to clear the room of banana throwers."

"Yeah, cause as soon as I stand up, a banana is going to hit me in the head."

"Fine Vakarian, go ahead and doubt, but it's your ego on the line," she says with a shrug as she lays prone on the floor trying to find things to eat in the suspicious empty mess cabinets that she knew she restocked last night.

Garrus grunts, stands up and looked around and waved his arms. He looked triumplty down at her and says smugly, "Well, would you look at that? No bananas hit me in the head."

"Just wait. I'd give them five seconds."

"Give who five seconds?"

As Shepard opens her mouth to reply, a flash of yellow appears and a turian yelp confirms that the object hit the target intended. She's quiet as he flings his hands around his face while five more bananas are thrown at him; when he looks down at her, she cracks up and looks back to see a fire in his eyes.

"You think it's funny do you? You can either laugh at me, or you can help me get the bastards throwing all of your food around in your ship," he says to her as he offers a hand to help her up and grabs a tray for a shield.

"Game on, let's get these bastards and teach them not to waste my breakfast." She grins as she readies her weight bar and goes back-to-back with Garrus and takes a confident step forward while scanning the room.

_Oh yeah, just a typical day of crew versus Shepard. Let the game begin._

The crew ought to have fun on the off days too right?


End file.
